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Good Dads

February 6, 2011

My husband thinks he is a terrible father. I don’t know why…My daughter is an adorable 8 month old. When she is sick, she wants mom. Sometimes he will be holding her and I walk into the room and she immediately wants me and not her dad. She will start crying and almost lunge for me. -His conclusion is that he is a terrible father.

My husband is a great guy, sweet, smart and very generous (almost to a fault). And he will change her diaper, he will play with her on the floor and reads her books. The fact that he wants to be a good father, loves her and tries to be a good dad makes him a great dad. But, he has a much lower tolerance for crying than I do. I have been around kids my whole life, I know a lot of times what kiddo wants. When he can’t “fix” her problem he gets really frustrated. And says, “I am a terrible father” and “She likes you better than me, she hates me.”

But, I think that she is just at that age that mom is the favorite and when she gets older, Dad will be her favorite (and I will be jealous).

What do you think?

2 Comments leave one →
  1. February 7, 2011 6:34 am

    Early on my son went through phases. One week he liked me the other he like mom. Now he has without us knowing set up roles for the both of us already. I’m the fun guy who plays with him and can get him to smile and laugh alot. Mom, is the comforter. She can get him to calm down in a pinch and he will fall asleep faster then anything when is laying on her chest.

    I wasn’t sure how I was going to be as a father and it’s tough. There are times where we feel like we could just disappear in the raising of our children because they prefer the mom over the dad.

    My advice just make sure that you are giving him encouragement. Your daughter is probably just in a phase where she wants you and the best thing you can do is tell your husband that he is doing great! That is what my wife did during those times when all my son wanted was her.

  2. Vickie permalink
    February 7, 2011 8:39 am

    …I think you are correct, Lynn, in that later on you will be the one feeling slighted. Warren and I had the same experience, and part of that had to do with me being the “bad guy”. Plus, when Jen turned 3 and Jared was born, guess who became the favorite? “Daddy!”

    The first one is always the most difficult to figure out.

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